Thursday, June 30, 2011
I have been observing how often I have tunnel vision with regards to experiences in my life. This tunnel vision phenomena happens when I'm in a state of not conscious of myself or in another word... in automatic pilot. Tunnel vision also happen when there is not stepping back from an experience or emotion resulting in being stuck to the experience hence only old ways of reacting is happening. Tunnel vision also happen when the mind wish to be right or its being righteous hence its my way or the highway :)
I was out with SS for dinner a week ago and I was deep in thought as I was walking along a path to the shop. As the path normally has sales people selling titbits there, I normally just tell them NO. Though deep in thought, there is still an awareness of 2 women standing at the side holding something that looked like food. As we walked passed, they said " Would you like to support single mothers?" and immediately I said NO and continue on my journey. I was able to observe how the mind suddenly had a feeling of guilt for answering NO so quickly. When we sat down at the restaurant which was just a few doors away, I started to laugh and told how tunneled vision I was in the incident with the 2 ladies and how the mind jumped into conclusion that they were the same as previous experiences.
So, I checked that I would like to support the single mothers ..... ( well ... its based on an idea that they need help) but because there was no wisdom present at that moment, it could only be aware (that is why my teacher often mention that "awareness alone is not enough" ) hence old patterns continue to play up. This shows to me the mind will do its own stuff in its own way as if "I" am not there ...... so where is the "I" in all this ?
Interestingly, when there is mindful, the mind has clarity, is alert, is curious, is inquisitive, is in wonderment..... the possibility of tunnel vision is less likely to happen because the observer is constantly observing and checking the attitude and the ideas that are fuelling the actions, speech, thoughts and feeling.