As 2013 comes to a close, it is indeed a time for me to ponder and reflect.
I must admit, many a times I am not here .... Meaning that I am lost in thought, thinking of the past or planning for the future, worrying about stuff and reacting to things that happen in my space. This clearly indicate that there is a lot of times that my life is being lived by all the old patterns and conditions that made up this life.
What does all this means? All I know for now is that I am still following old conditions as oppose to being aware of them. Somehow, old conditions seems to be like a comfortable old shirt that I have worn for years and though it's torn, faded and tattered, I still prefer it because I know how it feels when I slip into it. Basically, just looking for comfort zone instead of being aware of what is happening.
What is it like when I am living my life? It's one that is conscious of what is being experienced, knowing clearly what is happening, knowing the emotions, thoughts that goes thru the mind, the desires to take action so that I can feel better. This seemed like being passive but this is most active because constantly there something to be aware off. It's about knowing what is making this 'being' tick.
In a way, I can make my own life really miserable when I just go about it like a headless chicken. So tomorrow is another day and this moment now is just a new moment. Let's get back on the horse of being conscious!! Happy New Year !!!
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