I went to sleep with a heavy head and woke up today with a heavy head. Of course the first reaction "I don't like this and I don't want this". With this comes a lot of feelings of self pity and "poor me". I have thoughts that say.... "I should be feeling better, more cheerful, energetic".... all the "shoulds" haunting me.
After wallowing in bed for awhile, I then had a thought, a spark of wisdom, "why shouldn't I be the way I am now?" When this popped into the mind, suddenly, i could see i was resisting what i'm experiencing now wanting something different. So what's wrong with feeling unwell ? With just this one thought, there is a sense of acceptance of where I am now is exactly Where I'm suppose to be. Most of the irritated feelings disappeared and a quiet acceptance is experienced.
I got up to dress and have breakfast. The head is still heavy but there is less judgment on it.
I skyped with Tuck Loon this morning and told him that i did not want him to see my face because i think I looked terrible.: ) He pointed to me his blog today which was on "All experience is of me , not to me or for me". I read it and found it very profound. If i can see all the experiences I am experiencing is of me, I'm just experiencing the me at the moment.
I made a comment to Tuck Loon saying if a person can be mindful 24/7, a person would slowly but surely have the courage to shine light onto the dark parts of their life to open themselves up to the experience and see the experience is just of them. Nothing to run away from.
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