The Blocks to Veracity

For quite sometime, a friend H has told me that I was choosing to be nice more than choosing to tell the truth. Because of this, I would hardly argue with people as peace is important to me.

Recently, I was having a discussion with 2 friends and what started to be an innocent topic took a turn to where there was differing view. The mind was getting more and more frustrated during the process and there were thoughts of being unappreciated, victimised and also helpless. It was also a rare occasion that I stuck to my opinion. But as the discussion got on longer, there was as sense that we were all looking at the same topic but from different perspective. The interesting thing for me was that, I realised that at that moment, the mind was really interested in understanding the process rather than the content of what we were talking about. Suddenly the word Veracity popped up in the mind. What is veracity?
Well from a definition from the Egonomic book, "veracity is the habitual pursuit of and adherence to truth. It helps make the undiscussable discussable and closes the gap between what we think is going on and what's really gong on "

I was at a point really fascinated with what was happening and also why we are not seeing things from each other's point of view. Then when the realisation came to me that I was too busy holding on to my position, there was no way I could see their position. I had to laugh when the realisation came. It was like I could see the issues I have that held me in my position .... there were issues of wanting to be appreciated, approved, unworthiness and wanting to be right.

So, I was experiencing the whole discussion from the filters and also from my past experience. However, when I observed what was going on and I choose to put veracity as a priority...... it was much easier to see things in a more detached manner, resulting in more clarity.

Though at the end of the discussion, there was still discomfort over the emotions displayed... I could see that something has shifted in our relationship and it was for the better. It was like we are 3 individuals who feel safe enough to express ourselves because we know there is unconditional love. What we are seeking is just the truth. This in our common goal. There is no need to try and look good in front of each other.

Body Mind Connection

I was travelling with hubby yesterday and decided not to switch on the air conditioning of the car... why I did that ? At first it was an egoic game I wanted to play with him as to see who will feel hot first.

It was a very funny experiment as he is quite adaptable to heat and as for me, I'm less tolerant to heat. I could observe the ego actually wanted to see him switch on the the air con instead of me and if he did.... this means I win ..... In hind sight.... it was rather funny and I could see that he was wondering what I was up to when I asked him if he is ok every few minutes in my bid to influence him to feel hot

I realised that I could never understand how he tolerate or not tolerate heat and any other things in life.

Interestingly, half way through the journey, the mind switched to seeing itself instead of focusing on hubby....

When I was focusing on hubby.... I could feel that I'm getting warmer and warmer and this is because of the desire to be right and to influence him to feel hot. Strangely, when I just observe the heat in the body and not on winning.... I noticed that the body did not feel so hot and strangely, the body felt some coolness. I was wondering if there was a window opened but they were not. Its like when the mind holds on/wanted something and its not getting it, a lot of energy is expanded in trying to get it. But when the mind is relaxed, the body actually feel less agitated and not so warm.

New Beginnings

Recently a friend got a job offer and decided to return to the workforce after 2 years of not working. In our chats, she was experiencing mixed feelings regarding the change that is about to happen in her life.

I pondered that change does bring out a myriad of feelings and thoughts because what's ahead is unknown.... For many the unknown is fearful and its better to stick to status quo. I'm also one who likes status quo because in it there is a certain safety and surety...... but then again in safety and surety there is also fear that it would change and more work is put into ensuring that things stays the same.....I find this now rather funny because if something don't end then where is the new beginning? Imagine a person is in a nightmare and it does not end.... what a horror that would be.

I've come to a conclusion that change is going to happen anyway, I might as well learn to accept it..... again its easier said than done because of the judgements that I would have put into the changes that is happening . According to an article written by Christopher Moon, he mentioned that judgement is the glue that sticks us to the reality that we are in. Only in true acceptance and appreciation,we are able to deflate the energy around a situation we are experiencing and then we will be able to experience new realities. And thus giving us new beginnings. If not its the same old story going around and around again.

Another strange insight I gathered is that it takes wisdom for a person to recognise that a change is happening and also recognise all the myriads of feeling and thoughts that is accompanying the change. This recognition is what helps us not to be engulfed by the torrents of emotions and thoughts that will naturally happen when things change. If I'm engulfed in the emotions and thoughts.....then I'm in the thick of the action and definately in this state of mind, I'm no different from a boat without oars or rudder. My teacher has said to me several times that just being able to recognise is good enough..... I'm still learning to appreciate that its good enough to recognise things that is happening in the mind without wanting to fix it.

I think if I can see an ending of something in my life with grace (meaning with recognition, acceptance and appreciation), then I'm allowing myself to see new beginnings with grace too....... wouldn't that be beautiful ?

Mind Your Own Business

I had a long conversation with GG just now and something she said really struck my mind and it was a good reminder. She was saying something in this effect .....

When we mind our own business we are taking care of ourselves and this gives others the chance to take care of themselves.
When we mind other's business.... we are over extending ourselves and this increases our own burden and we are not doing the other person any favours because we deprived the person the opportunity to learn

Its been a lifelong training that I have to support others and if I said NO to a request, I always felt guilty because it would seem that I'm selfish. Lately, I have the realisation that people can make request for me to mind their business but its up to me to decide whether I would like to say Yes or No. I realised that if I agreed to something without first checking with myself, I'm not honouring my ownself. Then I'll end up performing the request begrudgingly.... which in the end result, takes more time to complete and its completed without joy.

I realised that when I mind my own business meaning that I check with myself, I am able to make clearer decisions and when I chose to extend help/support others..... it comes from a genuine space. Some people has said that minding my own business is such a selfish act. Now I am of the perspective that I have to be selfish wisely so as not to overextend myself. A friend has mentioned to me that we seem to see "selfish" as not good but we need to learn to be "selfish" in a wise way.... I think now... I agree with this statement. Having the component of wisdom in our actions will ensure that there is a balance in the way we live and complete tasks in our daily life. We can be selfish in an unselfish way !!!!

Mirrors in Our Life

I received this lovely message from a friend as a new year wish which i thought was really nice and meaningful.

"May what you see in your mirrors delight you
And what others see in you delight them
May everyone love you enough to forgive your faults
Be blind to your blemishes  and appreciate your virtues"

Our world outside is our mirror of what is happening inside of us. What prompted me to write this is because recently I've been observing that quite a number of people were telling me how bad things are..... complain can be about anything from  the government, the neighbours, the road condition to the food. At the end of their complaints were that the things they were complaining about needs to be changed. Who to change it ..... no one knows.

I find it rather funny because if they just changed their perception of things then things would look totally different. For example, there is a neighbour that would honk each time they come in front of their mother's house to signal to the maid there to send the children out or to come take the children. For me, I hardly hear the honking and when I do, the sound was gone after 2 seconds. I have no story attached to the honking. However for the person who stays opposite the house, each time she hears the honking by the neighbour.... she gets very worked up and saying that the honking is disturbing her peace. She wants them to stop honking and even came up with an idea to buy a device that makes loud sound so that each time she hears them honk, she would press the device and make a loud sound too.. I had a good laugh because the story of a 2 second honk has become a whole soap opera of getting back at the other person.

If only the person looked within. If the honking irritated her..... what is it showing about her? It must be mirroring that internally she is not feeling peaceful and there is a lot of anger. If the person takes the time to resolve those unhappiness within maybe ... just maybe the honking, when it happens would not be heard at all.

The mirror out there is showing us areas that we need to work on and not for us to create more and more stories around it until we are totally upset and identified with this illusionary world. Changing our perspective in seeing the things outside will turn them into our teachers instead of our prison guards.

Right & Wrong Mind Training

I was pondering just awhile ago about the importance of building the right mental muscles or right mind muscle. As in body building, if we do not do it gradually and in the right way, we may damage our body beyond repair.

Sad to say the same goes with training the mind to build the right mind muscle. For many years in my own life, the mind has been given both right and wrong muscle training. The wrong mind muscle training just leads me to more delusion like I can train the mind to believe that my misery is caused by someone out there or my happiness depends on having certain criteria met or showing weakness is a no-no etc.  With this type of wrong mind muscle training, what can happen is a lot of unnecessary drama in life resulting in guilt, anger, remorse, blame, coercion, pain etc. The mind constantly experience life in the Victim ..... Rescuer ... and Persecutor prison.

If a mind receives the right mind training whereby the right kind of information is input into the mind and life is lived according to the right information...... each life experience becomes an opportunity to practice, to observe the mind, to be curious about things that happen, to gain understanding and wisdom. This type of mind stands unwavering in facing every crazy, wonderful, sad, funny, angry and confused moment in life. It finds solace not in others but in itself. This I believe is called Freedom and Peace.

I remember LF asking participants in her class which picture they would prefer ...... the picture of a perfectly still and calm lake with a clear reflection .... or the picture of dark clouds, raining with lightning and somewhere in the crack of the mountain you see a nest where a mother bird and her babies nestle there warmly and comfortably.

I personally choose the 2nd picture because life is not going to be calm and hunky-dory all the time. Life is full of ups and downs and to be able to go through it with still a smile on my face, compassion in my heart and wisdom in my mind..... then I would know that the mind has received the right training.

Wishes Come True

I always thought that when i got all my wishes granted ..... I'll be happy.....but lately.... i think its not so true now.....
I met a wise person and he said if he could grant all my wishes.... what would I want?

I could not believe that at the moment, I drew a blank on what I wanted. I thought I should be jumping up and down and blabbing out my long list of wishes.....

I realised that there is not much that I want because I feel a lot of gratefulness for what I have now.Also there is a knowing that any material goods that I want would only make a difference for a short while.

The wise person laughed and said that I actually do not know what I want and only know what I don't want.. ... Again the truth prevails..... Most of the time I notice in myself and also in others, there is a tendency to state what we don't want and not what we want. Indicating what we want is sometimes seen as being greedy and aggressive. I pondered that there were other reasons that I hardly indicate what I want is because of a feeling of being unworthy of having what I want and also fear of wastage.......

This can be seen in not getting the pair of shoe I want though the current shoe sole is slippery already or not postponing the haircut or ordering food based on price rather that suitability etc  This is a pattern that I've been observing about myself a lot and have to consciously stop myself from getting into the runaway train of unworthiness. When there is consciousness, then there is sound evaluation rather than just based on the program of unworthiness.

So, do I still want my wishes granted ?? Ha ha .... after listening to a story of a person wishing for psychic powers and regreting about it later ..... I think I'll just be very careful if I were to make a wish and be conscious of what I don't want and if I were to make a wish it must be from the space of clarity.