Today I went to give a talk at the retreat that is organised by CnC. I agreed to do the talk earlier but I had no idea what I'll be saying though the title was given. I've given this talk several times and as i knew the participants of the talk were mostly people who had heard what I had said before, I pondered what can I do differently.
I did not give much thought to planning the talk and I was observing that there were no tension within me. Normally, I would be feeling tense and concern trying to think of something to say, way before the event because I think its the right thing to do and also I want to be liked and approved by others. For this time, When the thought came that I should be thinking what to do about the talk, I allow the thought to come and did put in some thinking time but no answer came. All that came to me was to bring 2 balls of string. So I went out on friday and bought 2 balls of string.
I just knew that the talk has to be at the level of coming from within the participants instead of coming from me. I'm only the spark that will trigger them to search for the answer within. As Byron Katie said in her book A Thousand Name For Joy, "If I had a responsibility, it would be to help you realize your own truth. You See it, You Say It, it comes from within you, and I am the witness. My finger points you back to you"
I read this passage on Saturday when I flipped open the book and thought this was very beautiful and the message given to me was really clear.
So, I went to the retreat place with a relaxed and happy heart. The activity I planned with the ball of string went the way it was suppose to go and the participants each gave their own reflection based on their own insights. I saw that their insights were more deep for them than what I could possibility tell them because it was coming from within them.