I have observed for quite a while my fixation on things that happened to me. I would spend a lot of time analysing, questioning, worrying, lamenting, rehashing, regretting and being remorseful about something that has already taken place and I could no longer do anything to change it. Of course, this pattern is not only mine, it is happening for everyone. Because of this, the soap operas on TV can churn up so many episodes.
This fixation on the effects of things seldom brings pleasant feelings but it does help to waste time in life. I often wondered why the fixation on the effect? I was listening to a friend telling me about something that has happened to her and I could see that as the story unfolds, she was at a different position in each part of the story. I could see that when she took on the position of a victim, the feelings expressed were different than from when she took on the position of a rescuer and persecutor. However, in the whole situation, I could see that its like there was no way out that would be from harmony and peace. In a way if I see effects as something I need to quickly fix so that I can move on, I’m actually missing the mark all together and the feeling of being trapped would just be perpetuated. In a way, it seems like I’m so engrossed with the storyline that I forgot to see beyond that and what its trying to tell me.
I’m beginning to see that the effects I’m experiencing are just a feedback system for me to see what is happening inside of me. Of course its easy to see pleasant effects but the hardest is to see unpleasant effect. We seldom like the mirrors that call us to see the unpleasant. Most of the time, we would just do try to find a quick fix so that we can be spared from looking at the effect for too long. In the conventional world, effects we experience are called mistakes and we should not be making mistakes. But from my personal observation, the effects are actually just showing to me the areas that mis-takes had happened. It could be in the area of my relationships, with money or with work. Showing me the mis-takes (though it may be seen as unpleasant) is actually a loving call for me to give attention to that area that is calling out to be healed, accepted and loved.
I heard again and again that, “don’t look at the effect, work on the cause and the effect will change”. This I believe is true.