I always hear that life is a paradox. What I think is true now is not true later. What I think will lead me to happiness lead me instead to pain. What is to be held onto needs to be let go for peace and wisdom to arise. Life's lessons never cease to amaze me to show what the ego crafted out to be true is actually an untrue.
For example, what is expounded in the world through movies, advertisement, cartoons and soap operas is that we need to be loved by another person to live happily ever after. I loved the scene from the movie Jerry McGuire when he said "You Complete Me" when i first saw the movie. When I became a married woman, I waited for the part that someone "completes" me. Wow... I had a great journey to discover that no one, not even my husband can "complete" me. It is very easy in any relationship that when a partner realises that their partner cannot complete them, they move on to another partner but the whole cycle repeats itself. I guess when people buy into the "truth" that is taught in the movies, advertisement etc .... they will continue to look outside for completion
The true completion I believe comes from within ourselves. It is personal responsibility to look into areas of my own life that I feel a need to be "completed" and start to observe the thought and feeling patterns that lead to the conclusion. Only with understanding that I complete myself. If 2 persons in a relationship works on "completing" themselves instead of expecting another person to do it for them, I believe that is where a true partnership or a true marriage is born where each person brings themselves to their relationship and not expect to be on the receiving end all the time. This type of relationship is based on the foundation of mutual respect, honesty, independence and interdependence at the same time.
I realised even with this understanding, its very easy to fall back into old pattern of wanting to be "completed".
As the saying goes, its the journey not the destination that is important.